Back to USA

Well, this is my last night in Ireland. Sorry for not blogging for the duration of this vacation, but I have just been having too much fun. Spain was really nice and Ireland has been cold and wet (what do you expect), but really great as well. We rented an apartment here in Dublin in a really great location and have been going to see all the sights (Guiness storehouse, Jameson distilery, the book of Kells, etc.). Yesterday we got back from a few days in Belfast. That was a really amazing trip and really peaked my interest in the history of my family and the struggles they went through. I don't have the time or words to explain it now, but the struggles and violence that the people of Belfast have lived through was pretty shocking.

We stayed in a hostel and the first day we got there decided to take "black cab ride tour" through Belfast to get aquainted. It wasn't quit what we expected, however. The guy picked us up at our hostel and drove us about two minutes away to a working class neighborhood. As we drove up I noticed murals painted on all the walls of people's houses commemorating people who had been killed in that spot. There was literally a mural on every house. The driver stopped the cab, turned off the engine and turned around to us and said that we were in a neighborhood that was under the control of a para-military group called the UDA. I resisted urge to duck down in the cab and tell him to get out of there as he explained to us a bit about the stuggle between the UDA and the Catholics. Sorry to cut this short, but I am out of time on this computer. I will finish the story later when I get back to the US and don't have to pay for internet by the minute.

Leaving

Today is my last day as a Peace Corps Volunteer. At 3:00 today I will ring the bell that signifies the end of my service. It has been an experience like no other starting with training and Wyatt's death and being posted in the middle of no where for two years. I don't think I will truly come to terms with the whole experience until I get home and have a chance to reflect a bit. I promise to be better about blogging and getting some pictures up once I get back to the States (god knows I will have the time). Check in for updates on Spain and Ireland over the next few weeks as well.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me so much for the past two years. It really means a lot to know that you have a whole network of people pulling for you, even if they are half way across the world. You have been my anchor through the rough seas. So long Zambia!

Leaving Them Behind

I have never been to war. I have never served in the military. I don't have the courage to do anything like that. However, I can't help but feel a little bit like a wounded soldier that is leaving the rest of his platoon behind in battle. I am happy to be going home, but feel as if I am deserting everyone here. The only difference is that the people I am leaving behind won't ever be coming home to America like me. They are stuck here in this battle field where every day is a struggle. Every day they will be fighting for their lives in a much different way than someone in a war, but they are fighting for their live non-the less. Every day is a stuggle against hunger, mal-nutrition, malaria, tuberculosis, AIDS, and a plethera of other unknown ailments that I witnessed people die from while I was here. I'm sorry for such a morbid and dark blog, but this has been the reality of my life for the last two years. Maybe it will help some people understand why I am a little bit different person from the one who left America in 2005. Please don't feel the need to patronize or feel sorry for me. Just understanding is enought.

Village Extension Agent

I am finally out of the bush and in Kasama taking care of some report writing, closing my bank account, ect. Leaving the village was hard and was full of mixed emotions including sadness, a sense of accomplishment, wondering whether the program would carry on, and many others. I met so many great people there and it is hard knowing that I will be going back to a place with grocery stores bigger than some of their villages. I did have one success story before I left the village that I will share with you.

For the past two years part of my job has been to train village leaders to be village fisheries extension agents. Essentially, they will take over my job when I am gone. I have been working with a handful of these village leaders in the last year and some have become quit accomplished in the different skills I have taught them (pond staking, pond digging, fish feeds, integration systems, etc.). Despite their acquired skills and knowledge, they always try to insist that I accompany them when they go to visit other farmers. It has been a real challenge for me to get them to go on extension visits without me.

A few weeks ago I went to visit one of these farmer leaders and when I arrived at his house I could see that he was preparing to go somewhere. He finally came over and greeted me as I was sitting and chating with his wife. He told me that he had no time to meet with me that day because he was heading off to meet with some potential fish farmers in another village. He told me that his wife would prepare lunch for me and he left without even thinking to invite me along with him on the visit. At first I felt a bit insulted that he had not even invited me to go along with him, but then I was overcome with joy when I realized that he no longer needed me to accompany him on his farmer visits. I humbly ate lunch with his wife and children as he went off to do my job, which is now his job. Peace Corps service is full of ups and downs. When things go bad you wonder what you are doing here and start to question whether it is all worth it. When things go right you feel like you are on top of the world. I guess I will just ride this small success story all the way out of Zambia. I have realized that my job here was not to be a hero and bring prosperity to the people I worked with, but instead to make heroes out of them and letting them create their own prosperity.

I will be in Kasama until Monday and then in Lusaka until Friday and then off to Spain! I will try to blog again before leaving the country.