Leaving Them Behind
I have never been to war. I have never served in the military. I don't have the courage to do anything like that. However, I can't help but feel a little bit like a wounded soldier that is leaving the rest of his platoon behind in battle. I am happy to be going home, but feel as if I am deserting everyone here. The only difference is that the people I am leaving behind won't ever be coming home to America like me. They are stuck here in this battle field where every day is a struggle. Every day they will be fighting for their lives in a much different way than someone in a war, but they are fighting for their live non-the less. Every day is a stuggle against hunger, mal-nutrition, malaria, tuberculosis, AIDS, and a plethera of other unknown ailments that I witnessed people die from while I was here. I'm sorry for such a morbid and dark blog, but this has been the reality of my life for the last two years. Maybe it will help some people understand why I am a little bit different person from the one who left America in 2005. Please don't feel the need to patronize or feel sorry for me. Just understanding is enought.
posted by Devin Smyth @ 3:38 AM
2 Comments:
When I left Africa in June, the same types of thoughts overcame me. I can't help but think 'How DO they do this?' We'll never know, of course. But God Bless you and others like you who are willing to make an effort to change their world, and even more important, to taste it first hand.
I remember when you came to visit my new office just before you left for the PC. As I was standing in my window above watching you walk away, Linda said 'he's not a kid anymore, Noni, he's a man...' and I remember thinking to myself 'yes...and he will never be the same...'
You will come back to open arms and loving hearts and no questions asked.
Love
M.
No one will ever understand your unique experience or your unique purpose in life; but you now have an understanding of people and the world that will become the foundation and the core of everything that you do from this day forward.
That feeling of walking away from something important is a horrible feeling, particularly when you know that there are people that you care about who do not have the choices or the opportunities to leave. I got the same feeling when I left my kids in Newark to come home and begin my career in public policy.
There are reasons for everything we do and every experience that we have in life. It is a blessing and a curse to "see behind the curtain" at the realities of life. However, there is also a profound responsibility that you now have to become an advocate for those that are not as wealthy, educated or mobile as you are. Your journey is not over; your journey and your new life has just begun.
No one will ever understand what you saw or what you learned. Much of life is very lonely. But remember that we all have a very unique purpose to fulfill in our lives. And as we move on, we must look back with gratitude but look forward with confidence.
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