Garage Sale
Over the weekend I had a garage sale and sold all my worldly possessions. What I love most about garage sales is that guys like the one on the top show up at your house at 6:30 AM. The mystery garage saler on the bottom was an energetic little bugger. He was really getting into the exercise bike. We practically had to pull him off of it or he would have rode himself to death.
posted by Devin Smyth @ 1:32 PM
2 Comments:
Dear Sir:
My name is John Q. Hogan and I am with the NAOPMGSG, that's the National Association of Professional Male Garage Sale Goers.
I would like to explain the reasoning behind two of our members (who shall remain anonymous) early immersion on your garage sale.
In section two of our by-laws it states and I quote...
"Any member of the NAOPMGSG must represent the association with honor at all times. This includes always being the first to purchase something (for less than marked) at all times. As our motto states, Do whatever it takes, we will at all times be willing to risk our own lives, sleep in people's front yards, and wrestle overweight felines in order to get a good deal."
Thank you for your garage sale, it was enjoyable.
John Q. Hogan
P.S. Get some ritalin for that young man who was on the exercise bike.
Dear John Q. Hogan,
Thank you very much for attending our garage sale. It is always an honor to be blessed by the presence of the NAOPMRQUTSBVDMOPVDVDLMNOP. Your association has proven its dedication to garage saling through years of commitment and hard work.
We did have one small incident with a few of your members almost coming to blows over a Christmas Tree stand that was on sale for 25 cents. It seams that both of them had the idea to sell it at the swap meat the next day for 50 cents and double their profit. I find this kind of behavior unethical and I would appreciate your attention to this matter. Their names would only give me their name and ranks. They were Corporal Haggle Jones and First Sargeant Early Bird Chong.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Devin Smyth
CEO Smyth Family Garage Sale
Specialist in vintage suits and exercise bikes
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